Time Marches On

It;s true, Time stands still for no one! I don't want this to sound like a pity party. I want to try to explain some of the emotions I felt after the stroke? I was very scared! I had lots of questions, but NO answers! I felt like I was alone? How was I going to take care of myself? How was I going to provide for myself? Would I ever make it back to the way I was before the stroke? How do I go about getting better? Would I ever be able to drive again? Would I ever be able to walk again? Would I ever be able to hug again?  Would I ever be able to work again? I felt that I must have been a bad person for this to happen? I was very mad! I had gone through some hard times in my life, but this was the grand moments of all. I had always some how made it through the rough times, but I didn't know if I could make it through this moment? At this time self-denial was my greatest friend.  I could not face the possibility that I would not return to "normal"! The thought was just too terrifying! All I could do was sit and cry for the death of me that I had been before March 27, 2008.  I wanted to scream  PLEASE HELP ME! But who would I scream it to? I wanted my independence back! I just wanted to be ME! I guess I was  the new ME? I felt if time had stood still? Life was continuing on around me, but I didn't know which way to go? I knew I had two choices to lay down and  die or get up off my tail and LIVE! I chose the to live route. Time wasn't going to wait for me , it continued to march on daily!