Mind Games

  When I first started working with Amanda (my Speech Therapist) the difficult task for me was determine what real and  what my mind was seeing at the time? I would cry at the drop of a hat, and crying was one thing that I didn't want to do! I felt I was weak if i cried. Much later I would understand the crying. It sure didn't make it ant easier at the beginning! In my humble opinion, I think it would have been helpful for me if the depression and the problems with the emotions had been dealt with soon after the stroke? I don't know about you, but I wasn't one before the stroke to carry my emotions on my sleeve. I would have considered myself a withdrawn person? Well protected with walls around me. To go from this person to someone that couldn't stop blubbering like an idiot. I would think to myself as I had before the stroke, just get a hold of yourself? I was unable to "just get a hold of myself", I could no longer control the emotions. I would understand much later that my brain was traumatized, and I had to let it heal. I would realize much later that I could take Citalopram to take the edge off , and to control the winnie-cryinies. The whole point of all this being said is that I would not had to go through the embrassment of crying at the drop of the hat, if this had been dealt with earlier. The crying was not only an embrassment to me , but also to anyone speaking with me. I could tell they were uncomfortable with the situation, which brought futher embrassment for me. All I could do was pray that the mind games would come to an end?