I Am Erect

 It had finally came my turn to try the walking simulator! I was taken to the room for the "round table." To get to the machine you are hooked first to something that looks like a pair of drawers with braces. After you are hooked to the drawers the machine then hoist you to a standing position. This is not the most comfortable experience! It's like  someone just yanked your drawers all the way up to your neck! After you are in the standing position, you pretend to walk. The machine monitors all sorts of things? Beats the heck out of me what it monitirs? I'm sure I looked like Frankenstien trying to walk I remember at this time I was still in La-La land! La-La land for me, was I could hear you telling me something but it didn't go anywhere to click! It was just a big ole DUH! I must have not done great on my first try because it would be some time before I would get to try it again? I went back to doing strengthening exercises.

     While the leg and arm rehab  proved to be daunting. The mind excercises was a nightmare! I remember I just couldn't find the left of anything I was working on  in rehab. If the page wasn't rolling on me it just all ran together. I would try to pick letters out on the page, of course, I would miss the ones on the left side. The most difficult part was trying to focus. When I tried to focus really hard my brian would just say NO MORE!
It would make me tired and sleepy! This has proved to be a difficult task even today! Before the stroke I could read forever and it not bother me. I have worked at jobs that required extrene focus and concentration! I know now I could no longer do the work I did in the past. In the mist of all the rehab, my thoughts were  how  I am going to take care of myself? There was alot of denial on my part, I remember making remarks to Dr, O'Duffy and she would look at me like I had two heads! I at one point told her I would be back to work in two weeks? Funny it's been almost two years and I ain't back to work yet!